Sometimes, it really is a pain in the butt updating.  But occasionally, it provides the only source where I can talk, and hopefully someone would hear me.  No, I am not depresed, I am so sick of that.  I am not sad, which is pointless.  I'm just disappointed and disillusioned by this world.  The differences between what I had desired for and what I am actually able to obtain is so....I just feel it's not enough.  Wy do I study?  people say so I can have a good future, will I really?  I do not care, although i know I should.  But still, the world is so disappointing.  Maybe I should just give up what I want and just surrender.

Then again, maybe not.

Well well well, I am back again, nothing new, as usual.

Days are fine, city of hope is going pretty well, all genius doctors educating "the hopes of tomorrow" which i highly doubt, on one hand tomorrow is in....approximately 20 seconds, and the fact that they had emphasized that idea everyday, i think they've lost all their credibility.  But heck, who am I to babble on?

Anyway, you are not here to listen to me making a fool of this world, well, a fool out of myself, too, for that matter.  So!  Let's tell you something educational, for example, in year 1732, there's this group of people.......ah heck, nobody cares about learning, I sure enjoy my life fine without the need of further knowledge crammed in this what they call cranium.  Maybe that's why they deemed the term "cram".  Cram =cranium, get it?  I don't.

So!  How's all my lighted fledglings doing?  Let's see, let's see....oh yes, i got my driver's license, so look out world!  Here comes Johnny to take you over!  yep yep, emily zar mike loretta, step aside, this world is mine, muhahahahaha.  (that should be an exclamation mark, makes things more dramatic)

What else is new?  Congratulations, matt you rascal, on reaching 17, (right? or is it 18?  because it would be quite scary if you are 18 now, someone whom I had to be afraid of....well..sorta, since you are white)  Anyway.....

good day to you all, have fun over summer (if you can, darn it AP english)  Well, anyway

have fun

have fun

have fun

have sun

good bye

p.s. that "sun" was not an accident, and you are not having hallucinations.

Well, let's stop moping around, shall we?  I mean, life is only so short, so many things for us to grasp, so many things for us to enjoy.  Let's look at life in a different perspective, shall we?

Tell me, is life just always so...pressuring,, and so tragic?  Not really, just by looking outside my window I can see the birds, soaring above the sky, even if they have things they need to worry about, to us humans, it seems like they own the world, and they are as happy as anything can ever be.

And now look at us.  Once we stop focusing on the tragic part, what do we see?  People striving to learn everyday, and once we ignore the painful struggles in life (some of which are not even painful :] )  what do we see?  People in the parks, people at home, or even people at work.  The doctors, the technicians.  We say that they are busy and unhappy because of their workload, but are they really?  They still go about everyday, and they enjoy their job.  So from that point of view, the pressure became nothing, it's just part of something in which the profession can enjoy.  Therefore, life is not that bad.

Would there really be any real tragedy?  A life-turning event may be called a tragedy.  Let's have an example, shall we?  If i want to be a doctor, and I fail calculus, that would be a life-turning event, and I would never be able to become a doctor.  But what if I go on and become a politician?  or a lawyer? or someone who invents a time machine?  Would failing calculus be a tragedy?  No, it would be viewed as something that had helped me become successful.

Everything has it's purpose; what one views as tragedy, may not be down his/her life.  So, enjoy life, enjoy everyday, realize that life is not pointless, not fruitless, and definitely not without miracles.  One of the most wonderful miracles i can think of in my life is meeting her.  It really is amazing, amazing how fast I was wiling to dedicate myself to her.  It really is a miracle, that God had blessed me with such a wonderful girl in my life...

So, people, live with hope.